Living inside a single screen as pieces of life
slide past is like throwing yourself in the trash

And I have thrown myself in the trash

My only hours

The Internet plunged me into a glowing
rectangle of sadness

And I plucked myself out again

Dripping with poison

And dropped myself back in again

Once upon a time

I was a soul glowing and curled in someone’s
arms

Then I’m eyes that lean into a glowing screen

Living inside a single screen as pieces of life
slide past is like throwing yourself in the trash

And I have thrown myself into the trash

The books I once read

My children’s little faces turned to me like little
screens

My children’s little faces turned to me like little
moons

My posture

My neck

The curves and folds of my brain bathed in a
sharp white glow

Like a brain bathed in a liquid solution

A solution made of a white glow

Who knows

The dark folds my brain may have had

Who knows

How sad my brain may have been

Encased in a dark shell of bone

All alone

Living inside a single screen as pieces of life
slide past is like throwing yourself in the trash

And I have thrown myself into the trash

Where I reside now with all of you

Who knew

Before all this

What different kinds of trash we are

Finding among the trash

Some beautiful trash

And other trash which frightens me

Scary trash touches my scary eyes

Living inside a single screen as pieces of life
slide past is like throwing yourself in the trash

And I have thrown myself into the trash

My only hours

One thing I loved about the Internet

When I loved the Internet

Was how I could see the shapes of souls
unfurling their tendrils in words

Having found tendrils of sweet minds unfurling

I’ve had to shut the drawer on the tendrils
sweeping out

I’ve had to shut the drawer directly on the
tentacles

I miss the fragile tentacles of souls

*

Emily Bludworth de Barrios is the author of the poetry books Rich Wife (University of Wisconsin Press 2025) and Shopping or The End of Time (University of Wisconsin Press 2022). Her work combines lyrical and associative forms to consider class, material culture, and the conditions under which women make art. A recipient of the Four Lakes Prize and the Felix Pollak Prize in Poetry, she divides her time between Houston, Texas and Santa Cruz de la Sierra, Bolivia. Her website is www.emilybludworthdebarrios.com.