If I Ever Say, Even in My Sleep,

 

 

Mitt Romney,

he da bomb, knee

me in the nuts.

Slit

my gullet.

Murder me with paper cuts.

 

 

***

 

 

Mitt Romney and Anthony Comstock: The Rom Com

 

 

They meet cute, at the post office.

Later, a dinner (the rice pilaf is

delicious, as is the roast goat)

and a quiet evening of book burning.

No temple garments are shed. Note,

though, the hard stares, the terrible yearning.

 

 

***

 

 

Vice-Squad Clerihew

 

 

Marco Rubio

is the second coming of boxer/murderer/Havana-vacationer Jack (“Sparky”—his boxing nickname, yo) Ruby! Oh,

and Romney’s Oswald.

Oh, and the Secret Service just called.

 

 

***

 

 

The Romney Doctrine (Found Poem)

 

 

“I’m not

familiar precisely

with exactly

what I said,

but I stand by what

I said,

what-

ever it was.”

 

 

***

 

 

Voting Booth Drama

 

 

Paul Ryan’s cowlick

doesn’t care how sick

you might become—

and it’s mum

on how to pay

for your long hospital stay.

Now quick,

answer this (by pulling the appropriate lever):

Will you be 42 forever?

(Forever, sayeth the cowlick.)

 

 

***

 

 

Limerick

 

 

In a rich guy’s McMansion in Boca,

The warrior Romney-o spoke-a:

“They’re entitled,” he sneered

(The whole thing was weird),

And half of the country awoke-a.

 

 

 

***

 

 

The Last Words We’ll Ever Write About Romney

 

 

Mittmentum

sent ’im

(almost)

to DC.

He lost,

which is fit. Go easy.

 

Cody Walker is the author of Shuffle and Breakdown (Waywiser Press, 2008). His work appears in Parnassus, Slate, The Yale Review, Salon, and The Best American Poetry; it’s also featured on the Cartoon Bureau Blog of The New Yorker. He teaches English at the University of Michigan and blogs regularly for The Kenyon Review.